wow
Saturday, June 12, 2004; 06:52 p.m.:
so..... im all done w/ my freshmen year in college... i've got to say, it was one of the best years ever. i've loved it!!!! I can't believe how fast the year's gone by. It's been so much fun. I'm so glad I joined a sorority and ended up in Sigma Kappa. I love my house and the girls in it. I don't know if I could be happier at another house, especially because I don't think I could be myself.
i know i've changed... I don't think a lot, but I know I have. I feel like my morals have lessened. I wish I could change them back to how they used to be, but it's so hard to change things, especially when others dont want them changed.
I've loved this year. I love my sisters. And I love the friends I've made.....
grrr on me...
Sunday, May 2, 2004; 11:01 p.m.:
why did i let it go this far?? why do i let my hormones and "needs" take over? why cant i be stronger than it?? now i've screwed myself over.. and am really gonna hurt him...
i wish i were better than this
*sigh*
Monday, April 19, 2004; 12:35 a.m.:
im tired of everything.....
yay
Monday, April 5, 2004; 12:56 a.m.:
my life is good right now... i am happy ^^;;...
well... mostly... i feel like i am drifting from God.... and then i read Lami Unnie's blog.. and i realize i AM drifting.. i still go to church... i still pray.. but im not as strong as i used to be.....
what do i do????
*sigh*
Tuesday, March 23, 2004; 06:02 p.m.:
i dont know if i was cut out to be a girlfriend.... i really like ryan though and i dont want to break up w/ him.. but im afraid he's gonna start hating me... or not liking me anymore...
*sigh*
Thursday, February 19, 2004; 06:03 p.m.:
what's wrong with me? well, i know what's wrong.... my damn hormones are imbalanced.. why do i always get so depressed on my period?? it hasn't been this bad since high school.. i feel so sad and.... gone.... last night... i was starting to scare myself.... if Amy hadn't of come in and kept me company.. by doing crazy things.. i dont know how i would've ended up.... i really wish i weren't such a freak
i feel like everything's going downhill right now... i don't feel happy... i feel so empty right now... i want to talk to someone.. but i hate going and bitching and throwing a pity party... i did that last night w/ Tanya, and she's probably the one person i trust most right now, and i dont want to do that again because i know she has a lot of stuff going on right now... i know she wants to be there for me, but i dont want to be a bother. she told me i should go visit my doctor though and get anti-depressants. she told me they help a lot. i've dealt w/ this since high school though... i can handle it.....
why am i such a bad person??? why am i so worthless?
what to do???....
Wednesday, February 11, 2004; 08:19 p.m.:
so you all *all two of you guys who read this* know about my ryan dilemna.. right?? and everything's that happened btwn us.. and that i still want to be friends and that i don't want anything else......
well.... his frat is having a date function this weekend, and he ended up getting a date tonight from gamma phi because they were having a fundraiser dinner *gamma phi's were* and apparently ryan ended up asking one of those girls to the date function...... i dont know how i feel >< i think i might be jealous...... but why??? i dont have any right to be...... --;; stupid me.....
JOSH GROBAN!!!!!!!
Monday, January 26, 2004; 10:14 p.m.:
can i just say........ I LOVE JOSHUA WINSLOW GROBAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^;;
his concert was AWESOME. his voice... *FALLING OVER* it still feels like a dream.. when i was at the concert it felt like a dream.. i couldn't believe it had really happened. it was such a good experience. it was worth everything. including waiting an hour after the concert in hopes of a glimpse of him.. which i got ^^;; along w/ being able to meet his band. it was bloody GRAND!!!!!!! i was scared he wouldn't sing *Broken Vow*.. but when he busted out with it...... *tear*.... goodness... that had to be one of the best four minutes of my life. and when he sang *Remember when it rained*..... i dont think my life coulda been more perfect.... well..technically.... if i had been front row, or it was just me and him..... ^^;; our seats were pretty decent. we were happy!!!
OHHHHHHHH!!! here is a fun re-cap. before the concert started they asked that flash cameras not be used, and i thought that was fine cause i thought my camera would take a picture w/out a flash, but it wouldnt. i had to contain myself when he did broken vow. but when he sang his last song i thought i'd try taking a picture w/ jessica's disposable camera cause the flash wouldn't go off........ OH we were wrong..... the flash went off. i was SOOOOOOOOOO embarassed. We got some nasty looks. but thankfully it was the last song and the grobanites *all thirty of them* were waving glow sticks in the air, and he came back for two encores. it was awesome ^^;;
he's sooooooo adorable too. his hair's a lil' too long, but it's still curly and shaggy. so cute!!!!!! lucky january jones... blah... oh well... i bought a Josh Groban teddy bear. im just piling up the teddy bears... justin brought me a beanie baby one from Univ of Hawaii, Stephanie bought me one for my bday.... and im a sucker for build-a-bear bears...... they're just so... fun!!!!!
okie.. enough drooling over Josh... i am gong to watch 'a muppet's Christmas carol' *no i do not care Christmas was a month and a day ago* and go over some french. byeeeeeee
coast of Italy....
Saturday, January 17, 2004; 02:10 p.m.:
is where this picture was taken, very pretty, no?? What I wouldn't give to go there right now. I like pitas, so private, i don't have to worry about what i type here, no one here knows this addy, only my special people online.
the house is empty, almost everyone is gone, there's about 15 girls in the house, but most are gone somewhere. A lot of people went up to whistler w/ all the college kids, i would've gone, but just didnt seem appealing to me, it still doesn't really.
im still distraught about the whole ryan thing.. im not exactly sure what to do... he hasn't been online since thurs.. and.. well.. monika talked to him, apparently he went home last night. i feel so bad...
i must get back to psych --;;